Session 1 · Facilitator

Card Spotlight: Facilitator Guide Insert

WHYZMEN · TOOLKIT AND GUIDE CARDS · FACILITATOR GUIDE INSERT · r2

Card Spotlight: One Card, One Session, One Rep

How each guide card is taught, and how it comes back. For every Facilitator Guide. Replaces Cards and Tools Schedule r1.

Each card comes out once, in the session where it fits best, and gets one short Spotlight. After that it returns as a 60-second Callback whenever the Practice of the Week draws on it. Teach the card; point to the Toolkit. The Toolkit stays below the waterline unless a man asks for more. No new slide is needed: run the Spotlight on the session’s existing Practice of the Week or homework slide.

THE SPOTLIGHT · ABOUT 6 MINUTES

Step	Time	What you do
1 · WHY its value	30 sec	One sentence on what the card protects, plus the one fact given for it in the schedule overleaf. Then stop.
2 · WHEN its application	30 sec	Men pull the card from the pocket. One man reads its “Use it when…” line aloud. Each man names to himself one place he will use it this week.
3 · I DO model it	1–2 min	A facilitator demonstrates. Best done badly first, then well: the contrast teaches more than an explanation.
4 · WE DO one rep	2–3 min	Pairs (triads from S10) run the rep in the schedule, card in hand. Reading off the card is allowed. The partner names one thing that worked. No grading.
5 · YOU DO take it home	30 sec	Tie it to this week’s Practice of the Week. Next session’s check-in asks: “Where did you use it?”
Short on time? Cut the “I do,” never the “We do.” A man who has said the words once, out loud, is far likelier to say them again at the kitchen table. Find the six minutes in the check-in and the Practice of the Week slide.

THE CALLBACK · 60 SECONDS

When this week’s practice comes from a card already out: “Pull out [card]. This week’s practice lives on this line.” One man tells one moment he used it. Move on. Spaced returns are what make a skill stick; a single lesson fades within days (the forgetting curve, Ebbinghaus, 1885).

THE SKILL LADDER · TRIED IT → TOLD IT → TAUGHT IT

Tried it

He ticks “Tried it ✓” on the Practice of the Week tracker.

Told it

He brings one moment to the check-in, or to his triad.

Taught it

By S15 he can show another man how the card works: the elder’s calling of Titus 2:2–8.

Skills grow one at a time, with practice and feedback (Anders Ericsson). Trying it is the practice. The triad is the feedback.

THE SPOTLIGHT SCHEDULE

Cards come out on the session printed on them. A Spotlight may come later than the hand-out when that session is fuller or the fit is better (E1).

When	Card	Why · the one fact	The rep (I do · We do)	You do · home
S1	Pocket filled: the nine core cards	—	2 min, no Spotlight. Show the pocket inside the front cover. “Each card comes out on the session printed on it. Carry them; don’t read ahead.”	—
S2	P · Practice of the Week Spotlight	Skills grow one at a time with practice and feedback (Ericsson). Five minutes a week.	I do: tell a short story with no follow-up question, then again with one. We do: pairs, 90 seconds each on “What did you do this weekend?” The listener asks one follow-up before saying anything about himself.	Ask the second question
S4	H1 · The Marriage-Safe Conversation Spotlight	Gottman: couples still married six years on turned toward each other’s bids about 86% of the time; couples who divorced, about 33%.	I do: one facilitator voices a small gripe (“The dishwasher died again”); the other fixes it in ten seconds. Replay it with H1: settle, reflect, name, reassure. We do: pairs trade a minor gripe from the week; the listener may not suggest anything.	Her day first; feeds the Kitchen Table Conversation
S4	E1 · Great Listener and H3 · Listening vs Fixing handed out only	—	2 min. Read each “Use it when…” line. Let H3 get its laugh. Say: “E1 gets its turn in Session 6.”	—
S6	E1 · The Great Listener Card Spotlight	Chris Voss: listen for “That’s right,” not “You’re right.” The first means he feels understood; the second often means “please stop.”	I do: mirror and label a volunteer live: “Retirement has been… different.” We do: pairs, 2 minutes each on “Something that surprised me about this season.” The listener may only mirror, label and summarize until he hears “That’s right.”	Reflect it back; the witness work
S10	T1 · Your Triad Spotlight	Waldinger, Harvard Study: those most satisfied in their relationships at 50 were the healthiest at 80.	We do: each new triad runs “Arrive and settle” for 3 minutes: one man says the one rule aloud; each gives one sentence of “If you really knew me right now…”	Shoulder to shoulder; the first triad meeting
S10	Optional sampler: E3 · E4 · E5 · E6 · E7 · H2	Offered, not assigned. Cohort 1’s feedback decides which cards stay.	3 min. Each man picks the one card that names his need and tries its “First use” over the break. S11 check-in: which card, and did it help?	Break: One call a week
S11	T3 · The Clearness Room	—	The session’s teaching is the Spotlight; add nothing. On Clearness Monday each triad reads the covenant aloud.	Honest, open questions
S13	T4 · Stay on Your Side of the Net Spotlight	Proverbs 27:6. Bradford & Robin: speak to behavior and its impact, never to motive.	I do: a facilitator says “You’re avoiding it.” The room calls “Over the net!” He rebuilds it: “When you…, I…” We do: pairs turn the card’s two over-the-net lines, then one of their own about an imagined brother, into the sentence.	Keep a small promise; the triad Rule review
S13	C1 · First Steps	—	Filled in during the session’s own work. No Spotlight.	Copy into Charter §3.1–3.2
S15	C2 · Tending the Charter short Spotlight	“The Charter serves you; you do not serve the Charter.”	We do: each man writes his four dates on the card now (First Fruits, 90 days, six months, Jubilee Review) and shows his neighbor.	Choose your keepers
First Fruits	C2 review	—	“Keep, change or drop?”	—

THE CALLBACKS · 60 SECONDS EACH

When	This week’s practice	Pull out
S3	Let them finish	P (E1 is still in the pocket; this practice previews it)
S5	Ask for a story · plus one thing heard at the Kitchen Table	H1
S7	Name the value you see	P, back
S8	The Barnabas Turn	P, back
S9	Three Good Things, aloud	H1, back: “Celebrate well”
S10	The first triad meeting	E1 and H3 in hand
Break	One call a week	T1, “Between meetings” (or E4, if chosen)
S11	Honest, open questions	T3
S12	One level deeper	T1, “The speaker’s half”
S14	Say the blessing	P, back
S15	Choose your keepers	All of them. Each man names the one card he’ll keep in his wallet. Collect the optional-card feedback.

Not on this list: session-only handouts stay in that session’s Handouts folder. Card detail lives on the Your Guide Cards reference page (Back of Binder).

Wise Men Still Seek, Knowing Their Why’s