Session 7 · Facilitator

Values, Domains and Goals: Facilitator Note

Values, Domains & Goals

How the Pieces Fit — a facilitator note to read before the values exercise

Say this before a man begins: “Your values will not line up one-to-one with the domains — and they’re not supposed to. A single value will show up in three or four domains at once. That’s health, not confusion.”

The Unlock: a map and a compass

The lists feel like they clash because they are different kinds of thing. A domain is a where — a region of the territory of a life: Faith, Marriage, Health, Finances. A value is a how — the compass you carry across every region. You don’t re-cut the compass to match the map; one heading guides you through all the territory.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy draws the same line: values are a direction you travel forever, while goals are the destinations you actually reach and check off along the way. You never “arrive” at Integrity the way you arrive at “decluttered the garage.” That is why Health appears as a domain but not as one of your values — it is a region you tend, and the value you carry into it (discipline, stewardship of the body) is the very same one that shows up when you manage the family’s assets and when you keep your word to a friend. One value, many domains — that is the signature of a real value.

Three Words, One Grammar

Domains — where life happens. The ten arenas. Rated in the Readiness Assessment.

Values — the character you carry everywhere. The vital few. Surfaced in the values exercise.

Goals — a value enacted in a domain. One value meeting one arena, made concrete. Captured in the Harvest Charter.

Stephen Covey built the same architecture in The 7 Habits: name your roles and arenas, set goals within each, all governed by one mission statement sitting above the whole. He kept them on separate axes on purpose.

The Model: a grid

Lay it out as a matrix. Domains are the rows (your ten arenas). Values are the columns (your vital few). A goal is a cell — what appears when one value meets one domain. You never fill every cell; you mark the live ones. The Harvest Charter is, structurally, a sparse version of this grid.

This is why “Wisdom Transmission” refused to sit still for you — it lit up the letters to your grandchildren, the discipline of relational time, and the mentoring idea. That wasn’t confusion; it was proof. Goals sit in one cell. Values radiate across the row.

A Worked Example: one man’s grid

Your values across the top, the ten domains down the side. Each ● marks an arena where that value is live. Notice how Integrity threads nearly everywhere (character does), and how Wisdom clusters in Faith, Family, Identity and Service — the generativity thread Erikson named as the central work of the second half of life.

Domain \ Value	Presence	Service	Growth	Curiosity	Wisdom	Integrity
Faith & Spiritual Life			●		●	●
Marriage & Family	●				●	●
Friendships & Community	●	●				●
Health & Wellbeing			●			●
Identity & Purpose			●		●	●
Service & Contribution	●	●			●
Growth & Learning			●	●
Recreation, Adventure & Joy	●			●
Finances & Stewardship		●				●
Practical Readiness						●

Faith & Spiritual Life is not really a column — it is the soil every other value grows in. Shown here as a row for completeness; understood as the ground beneath the whole grid.

Column legend: Presence = Mindful Relational Presence · Service = Servanthood · Growth = Growth & Becoming · Curiosity = Sovereign Curiosity & Adventure · Wisdom = Wisdom Transmission · Integrity = Integrity of Character

From Dot to Goal: filling a cell

A ● only says “this value belongs here.” A goal says what you’ll do about it. Four cells, made concrete:

The cell (Value × Domain)	The goal it becomes
Wisdom × Marriage & Family	Resume monthly letters to each grandchild — restart the on-hold project this fall.
Curiosity × Recreation, Adventure & Joy	Two “first-time” adventures a year, somewhere I’ve never set foot.
Servanthood × Finances & Stewardship	Treat a fixed share of assets as a tool for impact, not security.
Wisdom × Service & Contribution	Pilot projects-with-teens — the seed that could grow into WhyzGen.

Note that Legacy never needed to be its own value. It is the fruit these future-facing goals produce over time — which is exactly why it is the name of Part Four of the Charter, not a column on the grid. “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children” (Proverbs 13:22) is generativity in one line.

The Three Moves — and how to simplify it for WhyzMen

1. Name your values. Who am I at my best? Brené Brown’s rule: narrow to the vital few — we cannot live into values we cannot name.

2. Survey the domains. Where do I stand in each arena? — the Readiness Assessment.

3. Set goals where they meet. What will I actually do? — the Harvest Charter grid.

Values → Assessment → Charter. The pipeline already lives in your materials; this note just names the three joints between them — and names the three words (Domains, Values, Goals) that give your team its shared language. The lists were never the problem. The missing piece was the grammar that tells you how they relate.

Wise Men Seek, Knowing Their Why’s

WhyzMen · Rewire Retirement · Facilitator Note · Values, Domains & Goals