Session 7 · Guide and forms
Session 7 Participant Guide
PARTICIPANT GUIDE · SESSION 7
Who Am I at My Best?
The Values Compass
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
— Proverbs 4:23
This Morning's Arc
+ 10 min Closing Integration & Charter Anchor |
| Why This Session Matters
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| "Your strengths tell you what you can do. Your story tells you where you've been. Values tell you from what center you must operate." Without the steering wheel, a powerful engine and a full tank will simply take a man further in the wrong direction. |
A value is not what you wish you stood for. It is what you already do stand for — revealed in your best decisions, your worst moments, and the choices that cost you something. Most men have never named their operating values. This session gives them a name.
The values you identify this morning will anchor §1.2 My Compass in your Harvest Charter — the load-bearing convictions you will carry into the second half.
Callback · The Knapsack: Your Compass The compass is the one tool that does everything. So are your values. Direction: they clarify what matters. Multiplier: they make everything else work. Filter: they say yes to this, no to that. "Which two values point true north for you now? Not impressive values. True ones." |
1 | Opening & Pre-Work Debrief 10 minutes · Volunteer sharing |
Practice of the Week: one moment with “Reflect it back.”
Opening question:
"Before we dive in — did anything surprise you when completing the pre-work this week?" "What value did you most expect to find — and was it there?" |
What came up for me in the pre-work:
My 3–5 candidates arriving this morning:
1. __________________ | 2. __________________ | 3. __________________ | 4. __________________ | 5. __________________ |
2 | Values Excavation 25 minutes |
Your Story Reveals Your Values
Values are embedded in the moments that mattered most. The goal of this movement is to surface values that have been governing your life whether or not you've ever named them.
THREES · 15 minutes Share one peak experience story in 2–3 minutes. After each story, the group asks:
Help each other see what may be invisible to themselves. Use the 3–5 values you circled as anchors — what you identified at home should come into the conversation. |
VALLEY-MOMENT REFLECTION · 5 minutes (individual) Look privately at your valley moments from the pre-work. What values were being trampled or absent in those moments? You will NOT be asked to share the details — this reflection is yours alone. |
FULL-GROUP DEBRIEF · 5 minutes "Without sharing personal details — what surprised you about what your experiences revealed about your values?" |
Values that surfaced from my stories this morning:
3 | The Narrowing 25 minutes · Steps 1–3 + Pairs |
From Candidates to Core Two
You arrive with the 3–5 values you circled on the Values Inventory. Start there — not from the full list. |
1 | Compare your circled values against your peak experience stories. Which showed up in both your essays AND your stories this morning? These are your highest-confidence candidates. |
2 | From your remaining candidates, narrow to exactly 2 core values — then check them against your VIA top 5 (Step 3). These aren't aspirational — they're already operating in your life whether you've named them or not. |
Brown's Three Filters — apply to each candidate:
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Step 3 — The VIA Echo Check · 7 minutes
| VIA does NOT identify values — it identifies character strengths: the distinctive ways you are wired to express what you value. Your values are your compass bearing. Your character strengths are how you travel. Both point to the same man. Lay your VIA top 5 beside your working two. Which strengths were present in your peak moment? Do they echo what your essays and circled values revealed? They should point to the same man. If they don't, that gap is worth bringing to your partner. |
VIA Strength | How it tends to express a value |
Love of Learning | A man whose value is Growth pursues it through constant inquiry |
Gratitude | A man whose value is Faithfulness lives it through daily thankfulness |
Perseverance | A man whose value is Integrity sustains it through consistent follow-through |
Kindness / Love | A man whose value is Service deploys it through relational care |
Spirituality | A man whose value is Calling lives it through devotional practice |
My VIA top 5 — and where they echo my two values:
PAIRS SHARING · 10 minutes Share your two values with a partner using these three frames: •"I chose these because..." — name them and explain your selection •"I saw these in my peak moments when..." — point to a specific episode •"I see these being violated when..." — name the drift signal
Partner: listen, reflect back, ask — 'Does that feel right?' Do not critique or advise. |
My working two — after narrowing:
Value 1: _______________________________ | Value 2: _______________________________ |
4 | Trade-Off Crucible 20 minutes · Three Scenarios + Discussion |
When Values Collide
These scenarios create genuine tension between legitimate values. There are no right answers — only honest ones. Write your choice privately in the space provided before discussion begins. This prevents groupthink and reveals your actual values hierarchy. |
Time & Relationships (Family vs. Spiritual Community) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | Your son asks you to be available every Tuesday for grandchildren. A men's Bible study meets Tuesday mornings — the first real spiritual community you've been offered since retiring. You can't do both. |
Marriage & Mission (Significance vs. Intimacy) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | A meaningful volunteer role requires 15–20 hours/week. Your wife has been looking forward to retirement as finally getting you back. She's not opposed, but clearly hopes you won't take it. |
Truth & Harmony (Truth vs. Peace) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | A family member is making choices that deeply violate your values. You can speak truth with relational risk, or maintain peace at the cost of authenticity. |
Reserve Scenarios — optional take-home
These five were not run in the room. Optional, only if it calls to you: take one home and write your choice. Does the pattern you noticed this morning still hold?
Integrity & Loyalty (Integrity vs. Friendship) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | A close friend asks you to vouch for him professionally. You have real reservations about his reliability. Declining might damage the friendship. |
Security & Calling (Security vs. Calling) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | An opportunity to invest in a ministry or venture excites you and aligns with your purpose. It carries real financial risk. Your financial advisor says it's inadvisable. |
Self & Service (Self-care vs. Responsibility) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | You've committed to a volunteer role but feel depleted and need recovery time. Backing out leaves the organization without coverage for something important. |
Legacy & Present (Roots vs. Family) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | Your adult children want you to move closer — across the country. Your community, friendships, and church are deeply rooted here. Grandchildren pull powerfully. |
Growth & Loyalty (Growth vs. Loyalty) My choice: ______________________ ______________________ | A longtime friend group has become superficial — you've outgrown it, but they count on you. A more challenging community beckons. |
Discussion: What Did the Scenarios Reveal? •Which scenario created the most tension for you — and why? •Did you notice a pattern in your choices across multiple scenarios? •Was there a scenario where you surprised yourself — where you chose differently than you expected?
Patterns I noticed in my choices:
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5 | Closing Integration 10 minutes · Charter Anchor |
HARVEST CHARTER · §1.2 MY COMPASS, PART 2 · TWO CORE VALUES Before Session 8 (one week · about 30 minutes). The first item is required; the rest is optional · Going Deeper, only if it calls to you. 1.Required: name your two core values, define each in one sentence of your own, and beside each value, mark where you first received it: C · from Christ, F · from your family, I · from your industry or career. Only one is finally authoritative. 2.Optional: for each domain of life, one sentence showing how this value operates there. 3.Optional: one behavioral commitment — "I will know I'm living this when..." 4.Optional: one early warning sign — "I will know I'm drifting when..." 5.Optional: name the person who will hold you to these values. |
MY TWO CORE VALUES "The two values I will not compromise in my second half are Source of each (C · F · I): 1. ____ 2. ____
" Optional · I will know I am living these values when:
Optional · I will know I am drifting from these values when:
Optional · The person who will hold me to these values:
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| Before Session 8: Know What You're Made Of Assessment Homework |
Session 8 — The Strengths Portrait — builds on what you discovered this morning. One assessment is required. One more is yours to explore.
REQUIRED — Bring results to Session 8 | OPTIONAL — Go deeper if you want |
CliftonStrengths Top 5 gallup.com — CliftonStrengths Top 5 · $24 · about 60 min · print or bring your Top 5 Identifies your dominant talent themes — the ways you naturally think, feel, and behave. VIA Character Strengths — done Bring your top 5 back to Session 8 Session 8 lays your character strengths beside your talent themes: what you do, and the character you do it with. | Life's Great Question tomrath.org/contribify · Free · about 15 min Connects your top strengths to how they can contribute to others. A powerful link from strengths to purpose. In the room · at Session 8 Values × Strengths Crosswalk · Skills Harvest Done together at Session 8, in the Session 8 Workbook (handed out there). Nothing to do at home. |
Complete CliftonStrengths before Session 8 and bring your Top 5. Results go in Charter §1.3 Strengths & Gifts.
Optional · Take Your Two Values Home Share your two values with your wife or a close friend and ask: "Do you see this in me? Where do you see me living this most clearly? Where do you see me drifting?" If you do, it can be your moment with this week’s practice at Session 8. What they said:
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Practice of the Week · Before Session 8 (one week): Name the value you see How: Tell someone which value you see them living, and where. From the Toolkit: 3 · Speak Truly & Encourage Rooted in: your Values Compass. Tried it this week ☐ · Bring one moment to the room. |
This Week’s Work · One Week to Session 8 (January 11) Charter §1.2 My Compass, part 2 — your two Core Values, one sentence each. About 30 min. CliftonStrengths Top 5 — gallup.com, $24. About 60 min with sign-up and your report. Print or bring your Top 5. Practice of the Week — Name the value you see (From the Toolkit: 3 · Speak Truly & Encourage). Tried it this week ☐ · Bring one moment to the room. Bring to Session 8: CliftonStrengths Top 5 · VIA top 5 · your Charter binder, open to §1.1 and §1.2. Card P is already in your pocket. The Session 8 Workbook is handed out at Session 8. About 90 minutes this week. Optional / Going Deeper — only if it calls to you (not counted) Life’s Great Question survey (tomrath.org/contribify, about 15 min) · one reserve trade-off scenario (about 10 min) · the optional parts of the §1.2 anchor · taking your two values home. |
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." — Proverbs 4:23 · The watchword for this entire session. Return to it often. |