Compass and Values: Going Deeper

SESSION 7 · GOING DEEPER

Building a Compass
& Living into Values

Burnett & Evans · Brené Brown — the needle and the rudder behind Charter §1.1c and §1.4

Why these two readings

These are the two optional Going Deeper readings assigned at Session 6 for Session 7: Values. Together they cover both halves of that session.

•Burnett & Evans give the needle. A coherent sense of which way is true north: what work is for and what life is for.

•Brown gives the rudder. Two named values, with behaviors and warning signs attached, so the direction shows up on an ordinary Tuesday.

An old proverb says that if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there. Chapter 2 deals with where. Brown deals with the harder part: knowing what you look like when you leave the road.

READING ONE · BURNETT & EVANS

Designing Your Life, ch. 2: “Building a Compass”

The core idea: you don’t need a map, you need a compass. Nobody has a map of their future. A compass doesn’t name a destination; it tells you which way you’re facing, so you notice when you drift.

The compass is two short reflections, each about 250 words and 30 minutes:

Then integrate

With both essays in front of you, answer three questions:

1.Where do my Workview and Lifeview complement each other?

2.Where do they clash?

3.Does one drive the other?

The goal is coherence

A coherent life connects who you are, what you believe and what you do. The authors argue that this alignment is much of what people mean by “meaning.” When the three line up, you’re on true north. When they come apart, you feel it before you can name it.

Why it matters at retirement

Most retired men still carry a Workview their career gave them. Chapter 2 invites them to write a new one, because “work” now covers volunteering, mentoring, grandparenting and service.

READING TWO · BRENÉ BROWN

Dare to Lead, pp. 185–197: “Living into Our Values”

The core idea: most of us can’t name our values, and those who can mostly profess them rather than practice them.

Her three-step protocol

1.Name one or two, not ten. From a list of more than 100 values, circle about 15, then cut to two. She cites Jim Collins: more than three priorities means no priorities. Her own two are faith and courage. The cutting hurts, and that’s the point. Most of the cut words turn out to grow from the two that remain.

2.Turn values into behaviors. For each value, write:

–three behaviors that support it

–three “slippery” behaviors that pull you outside it

–one time you were fully living it

3.Build in empathy and self-compassion. For each value, ask:

–What does support from others look like?

–What can I do to be kind to myself when I miss?

–What are my early warning signs that I’m drifting?

Her through-line

Values are what lead us into the arena, and they keep us standing there when it gets hard.

INTO THE CHARTER

How they map to WhyzMen

The Charter already follows this two-part shape: Burnett & Evans feed §1.1c, and Brown feeds §1.4.

One gap is worth noting. Brown’s “slippery behaviors” and self-compassion questions have no direct line in §1.4. A man could add them in the margin, or a facilitator could raise them aloud.