Session 11 · Recommended Reading
Clearness Room: Facilitator Script
WHYZMEN
Clearness Committee · Facilitator's Script
You are the timekeeper and guardian of the space — not a participant. Your job is to protect the silence and the rule. The lines in gold-bordered boxes are meant to be said aloud, near enough to verbatim. Everything in italics is a note to you.
0. BEFORE YOU BEGIN
Circle of 5–6 chairs, no table between you. Phones away. The focus man has shared his prep sheet. Confirm who is timekeeping.
1. OPEN IN SILENCE, THEN FRAME THE RULE
Start the clock. Let the room settle for a full minute — resist filling it.
“Let's take a minute of silence together to arrive.” “We're here for one purpose: to help our brother hear his own inner teacher. We are not here to fix him, advise him, or solve anything. The only thing we may offer is an honest, open question — a question we don't already know the answer to.” “If you feel a piece of advice rising, turn it into a question, or let it go. The silences between questions are welcome; treat silence as another member of this circle.” |
2. INVITE THE QUESTION
Turn to the focus man. Then go quiet and let him take his time.
“Brother, in your own time — tell us the question you're bringing, and whatever background helps us understand it.” |
3. OPEN THE QUESTIONING
When he signals he's done, open the floor. Keep your own questions to a minimum — you're holding space, not steering.
“Thank you. The circle is now open for honest, open questions. There's no rush — let's leave room between them.” |
4. TEND THE SPACE
Your real work happens here. Intervene gently and only as needed:
•If a question is advice in disguise (“Have you thought about…?”): softly — “Can we turn that into an open question?”
•If someone asks a third follow-up in a row: “Let's open it to others now.”
•If the pace quickens into a grilling: “Let's slow down and leave a little silence.”
•If he tears up: offer nothing — no tissue, no hand. Hold him in steady attention and let the moment be his.
•He is always free not to answer. Never press.
5. OFFER MIRRORING (LAST ~10 MIN)
Only if he wants it. Ask first.
“We have about ten minutes left. Would it be helpful if we mirrored back what we heard — only what you said, no interpretation, no advice? You're free to say no.” |
If yes: invite members to reflect his own words and body language back to him — “I noticed your voice lifted when you spoke about…” Never “What I think you should…”
6. AFFIRM & CLOSE
Invite brief affirmations — of the man, not the answer. Then ask how he wants to end.
“Let's close by affirming our brother — something true you saw in him this hour.” “Brother, how would you like to bring this to a close — a moment of silence, a word, a circle of hands?” |
7. SEAL IT
Say this every time — it's what makes the room safe enough to return to.
“As we end, the seal of double confidentiality begins. Nothing said here is ever repeated. And none of us will follow up with you about this later — unless you come to us first. These notes are yours.” |
WhyzMen Facilitator's Script — adapted from the Quaker Clearness Committee as articulated by Parker J. Palmer & the Center for Courage & Renewal (©2018). Pair with the One-Page Guide and the Focus Man's Prep Sheet.