Guide card
H2 · Grandkids and Teens
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WHYZMEN · OPTIONAL CARD · SESSION 10 WHYZMEN · OPTIONAL CARD · SESSION 10
H2 Grandkids and Teens H2 Grandkids and Teens
Use it when… you’re talking with the next generation: at Use it when… you’re talking with the next generation: at
the table, in the car, on the phone. the table, in the car, on the phone.
“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me,
my God, till I declare your power to the next my God, till I declare your power to the next
generation.” generation.”
Psalm 71:18 Psalm 71:18
The same tools work across the generations: listen first, The same tools work across the generations: listen first,
ask better, fix last. What changes is the door you open. ask better, fix last. What changes is the door you open.
INSTEAD OF… TRY… INSTEAD OF… TRY…
“How was school?” “What was the best part of your “How was school?” “What was the best part of your
week?” week?”
“When I was your age …” “What’s that like for you?” “When I was your age …” “What’s that like for you?”
“You should …” “Do you want my idea, or do you “You should …” “Do you want my idea, or do you
want me to just listen?” want me to just listen?”
“Why did you do that?” “What led you there?” “Why did you do that?” “What led you there?”
“Can we talk?” “Is now a bad time to talk?” “Can we talk?” “Is now a bad time to talk?”
H2 · Grandkids and Teens (back) H2 · Grandkids and Teens (back)
FIVE MOVES THAT WORK FIVE MOVES THAT WORK
• Go shoulder to shoulder. The car, the workbench, the • Go shoulder to shoulder. The car, the workbench, the
fishing boat. Side by side lowers the stakes. fishing boat. Side by side lowers the stakes.
• Mirror more than you advise. Repeat their last few • Mirror more than you advise. Repeat their last few
words, with curiosity, and wait. words, with curiosity, and wait.
• Celebrate well. “That’s great. What was the best part?” • Celebrate well. “That’s great. What was the best part?”
Then let them tell it again. Then let them tell it again.
• Earn the right. Advice lands when it is asked for. Ask • Earn the right. Advice lands when it is asked for. Ask
before you offer. before you offer.
• Tell your story when they ask. Short, honest, and with • Tell your story when they ask. Short, honest, and with
the hard parts left in. the hard parts left in.
FIRST USE FIRST USE
Ask one grandchild, “What was the best part of your Ask one grandchild, “What was the best part of your
week?” Then mirror. Don’t advise. week?” Then mirror. Don’t advise.
THIS SKILL’S PRACTICES S2 Ask the second question · THIS SKILL’S PRACTICES S2 Ask the second question ·
S5 Ask for a story · S9 Three Good Things, aloud S5 Ask for a story · S9 Three Good Things, aloud
More in the Toolkit: 4 · At Home · 1 · Listen More in the Toolkit: 4 · At Home · 1 · Listen
Adapted from the Toolkit; Chris Voss on questions that invite a safe “no”; Shelly Adapted from the Toolkit; Chris Voss on questions that invite a safe “no”; Shelly
Gable on answering good news. Gable on answering good news.
WhyzMen · Rewire Retirement · Card H2 · r1 · Optional · handed out at Session WhyzMen · Rewire Retirement · Card H2 · r1 · Optional · handed out at Session
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