T1 · Your Triad

              WHYZMEN · GUIDE CARD · SESSION 10                                         WHYZMEN · GUIDE CARD · SESSION 10
   T1         Your Triad                                                     T1         Your Triad
 Use it when… your triad meets, every month, all year.                     Use it when… your triad meets, every month, all year.

 THE ONE RULE Listen before fixing. Not sure which he wants?               THE ONE RULE Listen before fixing. Not sure which he wants?
 Ask: “Do you want help with this, or do you want to be heard?”            Ask: “Do you want help with this, or do you want to be heard?”

THE STANDING MEETING · FROM MONTH TWO · 90 MINUTES                        THE STANDING MEETING · FROM MONTH TWO · 90 MINUTES
 Arrive and       10    Phones away. Someone says the one rule             Arrive and       10    Phones away. Someone says the one rule
 settle                 aloud. Optional: “If you really knew me            settle                 aloud. Optional: “If you really knew me
                        right now…”                                                               right now…”
 The month’s      50    Fifteen minutes a man (eleven in a four).          The month’s      50    Fifteen minutes a man (eleven in a four).
 question               Open his turn: What did you do this week?          question               Open his turn: What did you do this week?
                        What did we learn? No cross-talk until he is                              What did we learn? No cross-talk until he is
                        finished.                                                                 finished.
 Open table       20    Anything on the table. No agenda.                  Open table       20    Anything on the table. No agenda.
 Set the next     10    Date, place, initiator, next month’s               Set the next     10    Date, place, initiator, next month’s
 one                    question.                                          one                    question.
TWO JOBS THAT ROTATE                                                      TWO JOBS THAT ROTATE
 The initiator       Books the table, sends the reminder, picks            The initiator       Books the table, sends the reminder, picks
                     next month’s question.                                                    next month’s question.
 The timekeeper      The man on the speaker’s left. Past fifteen           The timekeeper      The man on the speaker’s left. Past fifteen
                     minutes he says “two more minutes”, kindly,                               minutes he says “two more minutes”, kindly,
                     out loud.                                                                 out loud.
THE SPEAKER’S HALF: ONE LEVEL DEEPER                                      THE SPEAKER’S HALF: ONE LEVEL DEEPER
Each meeting, go one step past easy. Not everything at once.              Each meeting, go one step past easy. Not everything at once.
CLOSE THE SAME WAY EVERY TIME                                             CLOSE THE SAME WAY EVERY TIME
A prayer, a toast, a line. The ritual is what makes three friendships a   A prayer, a toast, a line. The ritual is what makes three friendships a
group.                                                                    group.
Between meetings: a weekly text or call with each man, and a              Between meetings: a weekly text or call with each man, and a
shoulder-to-shoulder hour with one.                                       shoulder-to-shoulder hour with one.
T1 · Your Triad (back)                                                           T1 · Your Triad (back)

TWELVE QUESTIONS · ONE A MONTH, EASY FIRST                                       TWELVE QUESTIONS · ONE A MONTH, EASY FIRST
 M1       What’s one thing going well in your life right now?                     M1       What’s one thing going well in your life right now?
 M2       What’s one thing you’re working hard at that others might not           M2       What’s one thing you’re working hard at that others might not
          see?                                                                             see?
 M3       What’s one thing you’re wrestling with?                                 M3       What’s one thing you’re wrestling with?
 M4       What’s a dream or desire you rarely talk about?                         M4       What’s a dream or desire you rarely talk about?
 M5       What’s one fear or uncertainty you’re carrying?                         M5       What’s one fear or uncertainty you’re carrying?
 M6       What’s a regret that still has some weight?                             M6       What’s a regret that still has some weight?
 M7       What is God doing in you right now — and what’s resisting it?           M7       What is God doing in you right now — and what’s resisting it?
 M8       Where do you feel most alive? When did you last feel it?                M8       Where do you feel most alive? When did you last feel it?
 M9       What does your marriage need from you right now?                        M9       What does your marriage need from you right now?
 M10      What’s the gap between who you are and who you want to be?              M10      What’s the gap between who you are and who you want to be?
 M11      What do you want to be remembered for?                                  M11      What do you want to be remembered for?
 M12      What has this triad given you that you couldn’t have found              M12      What has this triad given you that you couldn’t have found
          alone?                                                                           alone?

THE FIRST MEETING RUNS ITS OWN WAY · 90 MINUTES                                  THE FIRST MEETING RUNS ITS OWN WAY · 90 MINUTES
 Settle           10    Eat together. Phones face down. Say the one rule          Settle           10    Eat together. Phones face down. Say the one rule
                        aloud.                                                                           aloud.
 Question         60    M1, twenty minutes a man (fifteen in a four). Two         Question         60    M1, twenty minutes a man (fifteen in a four). Two
                        listen (card E1), then each says one thing he                                    listen (card E1), then each says one thing he
                        heard. No advice unless asked.                                                   heard. No advice unless asked.
 The charter      15    Finish it: purpose, commitment, any blanks. Pick          The charter      15    Finish it: purpose, commitment, any blanks. Pick
                        an activity; date it.                                                            an activity; date it.
 Month two        5     Date, place, initiator, the M2 question. Close.           Month two        5     Date, place, initiator, the M2 question. Close.
A rehearsal for Clearness Monday, February 22: no fixing.                        A rehearsal for Clearness Monday, February 22: no fixing.
 THIS SKILL’S PRACTICES S10 Shoulder to shoulder · S13 Keep a                     THIS SKILL’S PRACTICES S10 Shoulder to shoulder · S13 Keep a
 small promise                                                                    small promise
More in the Toolkit: 5 · Build & Host; 2 · Ask                                   More in the Toolkit: 5 · Build & Host; 2 · Ask
Session 10 triad charter; Burrow (GripTape); Bradford & Robin, Connect (2021).   Session 10 triad charter; Burrow (GripTape); Bradford & Robin, Connect (2021).
WhyzMen · Rewire Retirement · Card T1 · r3                                       WhyzMen · Rewire Retirement · Card T1 · r3